Celebrity fashion designer Ruth Erikan James, popularly known as Veekee James, has recently captured public attention once again after sharing candid advice at her sister-in-law’s bridal shower. The video of her remarks quickly circulated online, sparking widespread discussion.
Veekee James, who legally married her husband Femi Atere in February 2024—celebrating both a traditional wedding in Akwa Ibom State and a vintage-themed white wedding in Lagos—was invited to offer marital guidance based on her experience of over a year in marriage.
During the bridal shower, she delivered two key pieces of advice to the bride-to-be. First, Veekee emphasized the importance of never denying a husband sex, regardless of how tired a wife might feel. She acknowledged that exhaustion can make intimacy the last thing a woman desires, but stressed that if a husband truly wants intimacy, the wife should comply—even if it means simply lying down and being physically receptive. She warned that denying a husband sex could lead to severe emotional distress, dramatically saying it might cause him to “kill himself inside the bathroom,” a metaphor highlighting the potential emotional toll of unmet desires.
Second, Veekee advised wives to avoid comparing their husbands to other men. She encouraged women to accept and view their husbands as perfect for them, promoting emotional satisfaction and stability in the marriage.
While Veekee’s openness was praised by some for its honesty and practicality within traditional marital expectations, others raised concerns about the implications regarding consent and gender dynamics. Her remarks have sparked meaningful conversations about intimacy, respect, and communication in marriage, especially in the context of contemporary Nigerian and African cultural values.
Watch the video below;
“Don’t deny your husband s3x. If you are too tired, just lie down and open your legs. You don’t need to do any work” – Celebrity designer, Veekee James advises her sister-in-law at her bridal shower. pic.twitter.com/IXgyF4i7qw
— YabaLeftOnline (@yabaleftonline) May 16, 2025
See reactions below;
Walshak Kos: Dear men, when you want to have intercourse with your woman and she’s tired, allow her to rest. She’s yours, you can have her any other time. She’s not a s3x toy, she’s not a pr0$titûte. S3x demands mutual consent from both partners. Both partners must be mentally and physically ready for it. Sometimes, you don’t need to have séx with your partner before you bond. There are non séxual ways you can bond and relief your partner of some stress. You can just hold her and cuddle. Whisper sweet words to her ears. That’s enough.
Engr Alo Joseph: But if a w0man says she is tired, sexx shouldn’t be by force na. A responsible husband will understand and not get angry.
Emmanuel Torty: Be sensitive enough as a man to know why your wife is not in the mood to give you sex when you ask for it. It can’t always be about us the men! Understand her body and know when she’s ready for it. They’re so many factors that can make a woman deny her man sex. Her hormones, probably tired from her daily duties at home, not feeling loved, probably caught you cheating and kept it to herself Like I Said , a whole lot can make her deny you sex, get to find out why and handle it with love. If she doesn’t open up as to why, you can now handle it the best ways you know how. Also don’t forget , if your money finish inside relationship or marriage , your woman fit deny you sex or better still stop to moan for you 😂.
Joshua Chukwuocha: But a responsible husband will understand if his wife is indisposed, it can always be done some other time. Marriage will only thrive if there’s high sense of understanding from both parties. Couples must learn to make sacrifices.
Chigozie Lawrence Ahamefule: A loving husband will know when you are truly tired and will gently allow you to rest. You are not a s*x toy.
Joy Chinwenmeri Onwubuariri: Oh well A reasonable husband Knows you are tired and he wont even enjoy it if both of you aint in the mood . Veekee james gave advice according to her limited knowledge . It is wrong 😑 When she is tired Allow her rest When you are tired She will allow you rest.